Silver Strike44
299
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Posted - 2014.12.17 20:32:00 -
[1] - Quote
Having just proven to the rest of Molden Heath just how powerful, strong, and mighty their pull out game is, the gang is in need of a new mission. Devin, GHL, Thunder, Big D, Ben, and Harry sit in a research facility somewhere on Kadlina awaiting instructions.
Harry: Did you see the dress she was wearing? It was so last year. Plus, it looked like it was from America or something. Gay.
Thunder: What are you saying?
Big D: Yeah, that is really white of you to say.
Thunder: No, that's not what I mean.
Big D: Still white though.
GHL: Quiet down guys, Z will be calling any second.
A voice comes over the speaker, but the screen remains dark. Before addressing the gang, Z can be heard over the speaker saying things along the lines of "capture alpha," "lob more nades," and "why haven't we captured alpha yet?"
Z: Alright nerds, I need you to go find something for me.
Devin: What? And what are you doing? Are you still playing Density?
Z: Don't worry about what I am doing. I need you to find munson's REs.
Devin: Why would we want those?
Thunder: That dude's a fa`ggot.
Z: That's just a cover story. He is more powerful than you may ever know. You have your orders, now go. Why the **** is alpha not under our contr--
The transmission ends.
GHL: Okay guys, the last known location of the REs is Bosena. Big D, chart us a course.
Big D: On it. Also, I like redheads.
Devin: There will be heavy resistance there. We had better call in another squad.
GHL: We should, and Delta Squad is the only one available.
Thunder: But those guys are such homos.
Devin: I know, buddy.
The gang board their ship and begin travelling towards Bosena. They stop along the way to pick up Delta Squad. Delta squad, consisting of Skel, Ken, Myth, Gav, Patrick, and Bob, enters the ship.
Skel: What's up fgts?
Gav: Hey everybody, this is Gav.
Ken: I strongly dislike Latinos.
Myth: Bruh.
Patrick: All hail King Thunderbolt...not.
Bob: Guys, today is my birthday.
Harry: I think I may have the perfect present hidden under my pillow!
Devin: How old are you now?
Bob: 13
Harry: Never mind, you probably wouldn't even know how to use the present if you are barely 13.
Thunder: This was really the only squad available?
Ben: Yep.
Skel: So, what's the mission, fgts?
GHL: We are supposed to retrieve munson's REs. We are already en route to their location on Bosena.
Big D emerges from the cockpit with a grim look on his face.
Big D: You guys are going to want to see this.
Devin: What? There's nothing here.
Big D: Exactly, we are at the coordinates. Bosena is gone.
Ben: How?
GHL: They blew it up, but with what?
Harry: munson's REs, duh.
Not knowing what else to do, the gang calls Z.
Z: There's no way you scrubs have the REs yet, so what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy playing Densi-- Can't you see I'm busy?
GHL: Bosena has been destroyed. We have no idea where to look for the REs.
Z: Go check on Oddelulf. Bye.
The transmission ends.
Big D: I'm on it.
GHL: Okay guys, this mission just became even harder. Oddelulf is defended by both Minmatar and Latinos.
Ken: Son of a *****
Gav: Hey guys, this is Gav. I should be able to reason with the Minmatar as they are my people.
Immediately after Gav finishes speaking, Devin puts a shotgun to Gav's head and pulls the trigger.
Bob: You just killed him...
Devin: Yeah, because he was Minmatar.
Thunder: Yeah, we have zero tolerance for slave scum.
Skel: Nobody really liked him anyways. He was a huge fgt.
Nobody disagrees.
Big D: Get ready. We are entering orbit around Bosena.
GHL: Big D, prepare the ADS. Everyone else, I am going to put you into three man teams.
Harry: A three-way, sweet!
GHL: You will split up and search for the REs. We won't be able to communicate with each other on the ground because our signals we be scrambled.
Ken: You mean lagged out by the Latinos?
GHL. Yes. Team one will consist of Skel, Ben, and Bob. Team two is Thunder, Harry, and Ken. Devin, Patrick, and Myth will comprise team three. Now go.
The gang gathers their gear. Devin grabs his shotgun. Skel puts on his assault suit. Harry packs his dildo. So on and so forth. Everyone but GHL gets in Big D's ADS.
Big D: When I tell you jump, I need you to jump. When I tell you to be less white, you need to be less white. Got it?
All: Got it.
Big D: Good, now enjoy these sick beats.
Some obscure Marvin Gaye song plays over the intercom.
Big D: Team one, jump. Now two. Now three.
Everyone's inertia dampeners activate automatically. They didn't use to do that. Team one lands on the outskirts of a jungle. They enter the forest with the local militia in pursuit.
Bob: What do we do? What do we do!?
Skel turns around and opens fire on the militia. They only manage to get a single shot off, which hits Ben in the leg, before they are all killed.
Skel: Scrubby militia fgts.
Ben: Ouch.
Bob: He needs a medic.
Skel: Do you see a medic here, fgt? We keep moving, he'll be fine.
They continue off into the jungle in search of the REs. Meanwhile, the other two teams have landed in two very different locations. Team three is in the middle of a Minmatar village. Devin begins slaughtering every villager in sight.
Patrick: Any idea why he hates the Minmatar so much?
Myth: Bruh.
Patrick: Me neither.
Team two has landed right in front of an enormous temple.
Harry: Wow, it's so big, and I don't say that often.
Ken: Think their in there?
Thunder: Considering the REs are some sort of sacred and powerful artifact, I would say that it is likely that they are in an enormous temple like this one. Let's go.
Ken: Okay, but if there are any Latinos in here, I swear to God...
Harry: Alrighty then, let's penetrate this temple.
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